Relatable examples generate attention and interest transcript

Take a minute to think about the top 10 qualities you would want in a romantic partner. If you’re in a relationship, you might find these match up pretty well to your current partner. But I’d have to wonder what your top 10 list would have looked like before you met your current partner. I suspect you may have made some revisions since then. Later in the course we’ll talk about this revision process, the tricks we use to justify that we’ve made a good choice of mates. But now I want to talk about this list, and why, if you’re single right now, you’re unlikely to end up with someone who fulfills all those requirements. What’s more, even if you do meet someone who fulfills them all, you won’t necessarily be attracted to them! I refer to this as the “good-on-paper phenomenon.” I had a friend who spent years dating guys she met on dating websites, and went on countless disappointing dates. They were disappointing because when she looked at their profile, sent a few emails back and forth, they seemed to be everything she wanted in a partner. But the dates usually wouldn’t go very well. They didn’t click. He might have been a nice-looking guy, but she found she had no desire to see him again. Eventually she met and married a guy who fulfilled her desire for height and sense of humour, but didn’t share her love of art or cleanliness and she had hoped.